Bayeux Remorse?
Was the high point getting the tickets, rather than the experience itself? Experience is subjective, but here is my tale.
We rocked up at the British Museum for a late afternoon visit. The beginning was deceptively easy, straight to a pen where a young man, using hip movements that I would never have been able to achieve even in younger years, explained the technique of steady sideways sashaying once we were in front of the Tapestry. His message washed over us, and meant 100% nothing to the man in our group who was going to need a museum chair even to make it to the start line.
Then up some stairs and into the fabled queue, for 1 hour 15 minutes (not as bad as we had feared). Some entertainment was provided by back story animations on the left-hand wall of the long, dimly lit corridor; more entertainment came from a couple of French students who sidled up ahead to a display and then attempted to duck in sideways for a piece of minor queue jumping. 'Not here, mes amis!' they were roundly told, and they retreated meekly to their proper station.
As we neared the end of the line, the right-hand wall opened up, and it became possible to look down to the Tapestry gallery, with the line shuffling along and the faintest gap being met with an exhortation to close it and move - the writing was already on the wall.
After intricate queue manoeuvring towards the end, part of which required a four metre wide fire exit to remain clear, we were finally in front of the Tapestry. I will take it as read that if you have any interest in the subject, you will do a little homework before your visit, but unless you have a photographic memory from pictures, coupled with an in depth recall of the interpretation of each section, your experience is going to be limited.
By which I mean that the whole curated experience was for me an outright contradiction: getting anything out of engagement with the intricate detail of this magnificent work needed at least a modicum of pausing and studying, yet that was not allowed - it was "Keep moving, keep moving, close any gaps, keep moving.' Woe betide any person who had brought their Weekend Supplement illustrated guide and attempted to read this against a scene.
The encouragment to keep moving was delivered both by a sonorous audio loop in English and French (other languages were not covered, although I wondered whether a guttural German 'Schnell, schnell!' might have assisted the organisers' objectives) and by staff. In fairness they (no doubt having been schooled thus) were achingly polite, although there was a chap with more assertive tones who suggested that if we did keep moving along then we would not need to hear the sound of his voice. At one point a visitor in the queue opposite (the last section before the start) joined the action and complained loudly that my companion and I were being selfish when we shamefully let a three metre gap open up after getting interested in one scene - I hope he was shuffle perfect when he got his turn. When we finally got to the business end - arrow in the eye moment for Harold - a member of the team helpfully pointed Harold out, although I fear that as much as anything this was to make sure that we now cleared off quickly (after that scene the Tapestry is pretty abrupt 'English fled' time).
And we all had to 'flee' too - no end exhibition eg reflecting on whether the arrow in the eye story was true. 70 metres; 25 minutes tops. Meaning that conservatively we had to cover 2.8 metres of cloth per minute.
The encouragement language and tone seemed set to ensure that anyone in front of the Tapestry felt guity about pausing even for a second, the show of course being the standout fantastic opportunity to see the work in the UK and so the experience must be made available to the largest number of people possible (adult £25 to £33 depending on time of day - see website for concessions).
However, does it work as a curated experience? I am not going to suggest that for the BM there was a bums on seats pack'em all in intention to maximise revenue. I take their espoused aim of maximum public exposure as genuine. I am not sorry that I went, nor would at all say don't bother,. Equally I am not remorseful over trying to extract some connection with the detail as I sashayed along. Here is my reaction: the BM are cramming too many people in for the study time available - others may feel differently. I will just say that if you are going to do the Exhibition then manage your expectations, otherwise you might end up as disappointed as Harold at not getting the hoped for experience on the big day.
The writer is a historian, speaker, occasional tour guide, and former Managing Partner of a City law firm